Archive for Blended Families

My Son and His Dog

This is my oldest son and his dog. Photo cred belongs to my youngest son.

I don’t know what it is, I just love this picture. I think it captures that special relationship that boys have with their dogs.

Boy and his dog

Happy Thursday,

Deb

How I Met My Husband

May 1985 Two Proms in One Night

May 1985
Two Proms in One Night

I was invited to participate in a Flashback Friday link party by a lovely woman from Australia, Melissa Baker. You should check out her blog at “Forgetting Mess, Pausing Time“. I thought it would be a good idea to start off with sharing a picture of me and my husband, Keith.

I met Keith in 6th grade. My family had moved to a suburb of Tulsa in 1978, and being the new kid in school always made me a bit uneasy. And wouldn’t you know that in my new school they had the entire 6th grade line up in alphabetical order to go to lunch. My last name began with “F” and I guess it would have caused havoc with the line to try to insert me into it so I was sent to the back to keep it simple. Since my husband’s last name starts with “W”, I usually ended up standing next to him. We became friends, and before I knew it, we started “going together”. What does that really mean? Does anyone know? Did you ever “go” with anyone? And when you’re in 6th grade, you don’t really go anywhere with this person. Am I the only one who has thought this??

A year later, my dad was transferred to Houston with his company. We spent 18 months down there until we were transferred back to the Tulsa area. My parents bought a house in a different school district so I didn’t go back to where Keith was going to school. I didn’t really think about it much. Life had gone on.

Life went on until I was a senior in high school. Roughly six years after we had met, Keith called me, one night, out of the blue. He asked me to come to one of his swim meets. I did. I drug my best friend at the time, April, to it. Things quickly progressed and we started dating exclusively.

We dated six months. I knew during that time that I was going to marry him. However, he didn’t get the same memo. He broke up with me on the night of my high school graduation. Via a letter and roses he left in my mailbox. Cool, huh?

I tried staying friends with him for two years while we went to different colleges and lived our own lives. The last time I saw him was in 1987. He asked me if I knew the girl he was dating since she went to the same university I did. That would be “no.” There were over 22,000 students at the university. We exchanged some unpleasant words and I drove off. Life went on.

Fast forward about 22 years, and life had us back in the same city, and both with marriages that had ended. We emailed for about 6 months before we decided to start dating. Once we decided that we were ready to date, things progressed quickly. This time we both got the memo, and things progressed into marriage. We’ve been married2 1/2 years, and it’s the absolute best!

Lots of blended love,

Deb

 
http://www.flashthemback.blogspot.com.au

The Blog is Blooming Again

It’s funny how life’s seasons follow our Earth’s seasons. With everything going on in our family, I decided to take a little break from blogging. And with the plants and the trees, I went dormant in the autumn. With all of the signs of spring springing up all around our house, I decided that it was time to bring the blog back.

Spring

I really hadn’t gotten many posts up before life sort of took over. Work, marriage, and a blending family sort of have a way of doing that to you.

Highlights of the past 6 months:

  • Launched two websites at work. I swear it feels like giving birth each time. Always has, always will.
  • Birthdays – husband’s, mine, stepson’s, stepdaughter’s
  • My ex stopped paying child support
  • Husband expanded our company responsibilities beyond his 9-to-5 job to help cover expenses
  • Holidays
  • My mom had surgery
  • My husband’s mom had surgery
  • Stepson wrecked and totaled his truck
  • My oldest son’s swim season
  • Started volunteering at our church’s new campus
  • My husband and his ex sold their house

It is never dull in our family, but that’s okay. We focus on keeping the wheels on, and to keep moving forward. It’s been great to look back and see all of the blessings in the middle of all of the cray-cray.

  • Work has leveled out. I am blessed to work at a company that is flexible with my family schedule.
  • My husband and I worked to make ends meet when my ex stopped paying child support. I am blessed that he thinks of my sons as his own and doesn’t think twice about working harder to support our family.
  • Our mothers surgeries were successful and they are recovering, becoming whole once again.
  • My stepson walked away from the accident with a sore knee and a scratch. Angels were with him, we are sure of it after seeing the state of the truck.
  • My oldest son was blessed to qualify for state through all of the hard work he put in this season.
  • Our church opened a satellite campus closer to our home which is a huge blessing in so many ways.
  • We no longer have to contribute to the mortgage of my husband’s former house. There have been many weekends that my husband had to go work at the house to get it ready for inspection, but it was all worth it.
  • My ex was granted unemployment benefits, and I have begun to receive child support again.

 We are getting ready to begin our summer soon, with a view to graduating another one of our kiddos this time next year. It’s going to fly by!

I hope you’ve been well. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to lately.

Lots of blended love,

Deb

 

 

Life Changes on a Dime

It was before 6am last Thursday when my mobile phone sounded with a text. I couldn’t imagine who was texting me that early so I asked my husband what it said. He said, “SS wants you to call her as soon as you get up.”

SS is my best friend. We’ve been there for each other for almost 30 years. I’m talking high school, college, weddings, births, divorces. You name it, we’ve been through it. Recently, she and her husband of 18 years went through a divorce. She, the kids, and her ex were all still in that first transition phase post-divorce when the police chaplain showed up at her gate Thursday morning.

When you get a text that says to call as soon as you get up, you get up. I went into the living room and called her. No answer. I left a voice mail and sent a text to call me back when she could. She called back immediately and told me that her ex had been killed in a motorcycle accident. My mouth dropped open. No words would come out. I told her that I was just in shock. Asked how she was, and she said that her first thought was how the boys were going to take it. With that the tears started for both of us. I asked her if she needed me to come out to the house, and she said yes. I broke down in tears and went back into the bedroom to tell my husband the news.

The motorcylce had been a recent post-divorce purchase. That’s all I say about that.

The past 5 days have been a blur. Keeping my family running and trying to support her and the kids any way I can. It’s been more about being present for her and the kids. 

My friend is in an awkward place. Not quite feeling like an ex-wife yet and then being thrust into the world of widows. I know she’s struggling in some areas, but she’s doing a great job at navigating it all.

Life can change on a dime. Draw your loved ones in a bit closer. Tell them how you feel about them. Don’t think for a second that they know and that you don’t need to say it. Say it and say it often.

Deb

The Family Road Got an Update

Whew Hew! The Family Road recently got an update! Can I tell you how happy I am that I had the opportunity to have a graphic designer help me with it? Blessed beyond belief.

When I first started thinking about starting a blog, I did what most project management oriented (should that by hypenated?) people do, I started scouring the Internet looking for information. I came across “Spread Bloggy Love” on CreativeKristi.com which was a great series by bloggers for newbies like me. Kristi has a great site, you should check it out!

She has a design business as well, and occasionally, she’ll run a contest for a free blog header design. I entered once, didn’t win. I entered again, didn’t win. Or did I? I jumped for joy when I received an email from Kristi telling me that the original winner didn’t contact her, and that I was the next name she chose. WHEW HEW!! I. Was. Excited! I felt like runner-up at Miss America. So, very blessed.

I hope you like the new look. I think it’s a bit easier on the eyes, but I would love to hear what you think. Leave a comment and let me know!

All in blended love,

Deb