It was before 6am last Thursday when my mobile phone sounded with a text. I couldn’t imagine who was texting me that early so I asked my husband what it said. He said, “SS wants you to call her as soon as you get up.”
SS is my best friend. We’ve been there for each other for almost 30 years. I’m talking high school, college, weddings, births, divorces. You name it, we’ve been through it. Recently, she and her husband of 18 years went through a divorce. She, the kids, and her ex were all still in that first transition phase post-divorce when the police chaplain showed up at her gate Thursday morning.
When you get a text that says to call as soon as you get up, you get up. I went into the living room and called her. No answer. I left a voice mail and sent a text to call me back when she could. She called back immediately and told me that her ex had been killed in a motorcycle accident. My mouth dropped open. No words would come out. I told her that I was just in shock. Asked how she was, and she said that her first thought was how the boys were going to take it. With that the tears started for both of us. I asked her if she needed me to come out to the house, and she said yes. I broke down in tears and went back into the bedroom to tell my husband the news.
The motorcylce had been a recent post-divorce purchase. That’s all I say about that.
The past 5 days have been a blur. Keeping my family running and trying to support her and the kids any way I can. It’s been more about being present for her and the kids.
My friend is in an awkward place. Not quite feeling like an ex-wife yet and then being thrust into the world of widows. I know she’s struggling in some areas, but she’s doing a great job at navigating it all.
Life can change on a dime. Draw your loved ones in a bit closer. Tell them how you feel about them. Don’t think for a second that they know and that you don’t need to say it. Say it and say it often.